Dealing with the Pain of Loss - The Process of Mourning

Most if not all of us have gone through various emotions and each of us will process the loss and deal with the pain differently depending on how the loss came about.

Being no stranger to loss, I lost a fourth baby after birth and a mother in the same year, so I understand the pain. How do you know you have overcome the pain of a loved one?. I now realize if you can talk about it without breaking it down, it is likely you have overcome it.
Sudden loss and pain of a young one is far more painful as it is premature and unexpected than that of an elderly person for instance which may have been or seemed inevitable. You may be somewhat prepared. Unfortunate it is but Jesus is the healer.

I was intrigued by the story of an Orca female written in the mail newspaper. Its mother carried its dead offspring for 17 days and each time it fell off she would dive deep to find it and carry it again until it finally let go. It reminded me of the need to pick up my lost baby and just go through mourning. It didn't make sense to anyone but it was a natural process for me. That was the same the Orca dealt with mourning and processing the pain and loss of its offspring. We humans cannot carry our lost offspring physically like an Orca. We however can carry them spiritually positively recalling their memories with us. We take refuge and comfort in the fact that their spirits live on.

When l lost my baby in 2007, I found it necessary to go back to the grave almost every week to just stand there. I just was moved to do so. Like the Orca mother carrying its offspring, I went to the graveside regularly till I finally stopped naturally. Another way, I processed pain was to keep a picture taken at birth in the living room and point it out to anyone who cared to listen till I stopped naturally.
Not to get attention but simply to offload what I had gone through. People would say, take it down but it was a natural way of dealing with the loss. I've learned that it does not take time to mourn naturally, the pain may take longer to heal and surface unexpectedly.

There is nothing anyone born of man can do or say to heal your pain, only Christ can do that, and that is not to say people around you don't matter, their presence will be necessary. But after they are gone, the void needs healing. Who better to turn to Jesus Christ the healer of the pain from loss.

So, do what arises in your spirit to mourn, that may be God's way of helping you through loss.
The Lord will give peace that surpasses all understanding.

The tears of women and loved ones are heavy, we see how Jesus comforted them. When Martha and Mary lost Lazarus, they both dealt with the loss differently. In John:7 -11-17, we see that, Martha runs out to meet Jesus saying, "If you had been here Lazarus would not have died".
Jesus already knew and predicted the death of Lazarus. Even with that knowledge he wept and mourned Lazarus. What more for the totally unexpected loss. Mary says the same thing in the verse regarding the loss of Lazarus. Jesus also wept at that point but told Martha that Lazarus would rise again.

Martha and Mary expected miracles from Jesus, Indeed Jesus is a miracle worker and carrier and Lazarus was raised from the dead into glory. In Luke 7:11-17 we see Jesus had compassion for the mother who lost an only son and raised him. Jesus told her. "weep not".
Our loved ones we have lost may not rise again physically on this earth but by the blood of Jesus, they arise and live on in glory. Mothers at loss believe that, in time the pain of loss will heal. Your weapon is praise and through prayer and worship. Jesus Christ will give you the comfort you need in time but surrender the pain of loss to him.

Woman Arise And Be Healed Writing Speaking Ministries

Never giving up on the people you are reaching out to - The Walk to Christ

May this testimony bless someone.

This is a testimony of how I got saved but also the Lord laid it on my heart to share how we can  all reach out to someone who seems to be so drifted in their own world. May it also speak to those Christians who feel they are drifted from the lord, no longer in church because of whatever reason, sin, judgement by others or judging others, pain, loss, stress can all keep us away from worshipping or reaching out to others. God did not call us out to choose whom to reach out to.

Even the neighbour who never answers when you greet them, even the one who is offended by the name Jesus will one day have an open heart. Then,there's that friend who may have brutally hurt you. It is us, the Christian's who must allow God to deal with us to forgive and refrain from judgement. We know better by the blood shed. Without forgiving those who hurt or offended us, we can't talk to them about Christ. Even the one who mocked you when you became a Christian, after all Jesus was mocked. being mocked as a Christian, it was so painful but Id rather hold onto that pain coming from mockery as a Christian than the pain of the world.

John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

I recall, the lady who led me to Christ never gave up, phone call after call, visit after visit, rebuke after rebuke. This lady was so patient and persistent, she almost got on my stubborn side - those years!.
The thing is I was petrified of this saying, "give your life to Christ".  Yes, I was told I was proud too!. She never minced her words. I was NOT a drinker, smoker but was looking for love in the wrong places and people. I was far too open with my life and people always divulged my trust in them so, I lost trust in people.Trying to justify my acceptance by having a relationship with wrong people. This caused led to more pain and rejection. But she sat me down and looked at the word of God with me - telling me who Jesus was. I was catholic raised did not know Jesus personally.Today, Iam forever grateful to her.

Then, I just did not see how giving up my life to Christ would remove any emotional pain but could sense looking in the bible that, there was something to get hungry about in God's word. Just entering university,I gave  many excuses under the sun, I have a lot of work, cant travel to bible class,but they offered to pick me to take me to church and back. I was left with no excuses. Till one day I gave my life to Christ.

Years later, life happened and once again, I needed to be renewed and restored in my relationship with christ they - different christians invited me to church several times, this time the reach out was harder for them or so it seemed but they weren't dealing with it by flesh. They prayed for me till I was melted by the love of Christ again. This time I believe Jesus reached out  to me in my very own home as I listened to gospel music. 
So the seed sown prayers were all working within me even though I did not realise. This will be the case when we reach out to people. They may not see the seed but its working within them.Now, I see them with testimonies all the time and big hugs. Renewed and restored in his word, he shall strengthen us. Even the one that left the place of worship or no longer worships anywhere still needs reaching out. Lets not be the reason someone left the house of God. Today, if you are talking to someone about Christ, the mockery, doubt's, shame, even fear you have aren't of God and one day your reach out will be their story and testimony.

The Christians who reached out to me were not judgemental but their characters drew me. At this time,I would also say character is everything when reaching out to people.

Lets not give up reaching out to that person/people who come your way that God lays on your heart.They shall come thanking you and all the honour and glory will be the Lord's. 

Since then, Ive seen  more family members give their lives to Christ some by reason of how my life has changed and God's miracles in my life.

Then, all things will have passed away and they will be born again.